Monday, July 27, 2009

Teeth, Bullets, and a Detailed Oath

Here it goes, everyone--I have finally dived and began committing to a relationship...that is, a relationship with the health and being of my own body--In other words, I have for once been able to stick to a plan in which I eat no sweets, dairy (which is almost painfully difficult for me to even think about because all my life I've lived and breathed on a carb-and-dairy diet!), or any junk food/drinks. This is Day 6 of the amazing adventure I've put myself into, and I feel it's been long enough to say that I'm extremely proud of how far I've come :) .

It all started about a week ago when I went to my dentist appointment...; I want to take a moment to express the horror I've had of going to the dentist for the past few years, because of how badly I had been taking care of my teeth and my own body by spending 90 percent of my awake time eating sweets and ignoring people's advice (and ignoring the voice echoing in my head) to get serious about exercising.

Anyways, my dentist appointment basically led to a broken jaw (don't worry, I didn't actually break my jaw..that was an overstatement) and to a draining of all the energy that could possibly be contained in me. This is because I had to lie on the chair (which I notice every time I sit in it that it's probably the coziest/comfiest--is that a real word??--chair I've ever sat in :P) for literally 2 hours with my mouth open while my dentist and his coworker did three fillings in my teeth.

As I felt my jaw getting weaker and weaker during those two tedious (yet somewhat exciting because of the random-looking tools that went in and out of my mouth) hours, I realized that I had brought this destruction all on myself--Since I was 9 years old, I have probably gotten an estimate of 10 fillings, all because I barely flossed (only because it was extremely hard to get in the habit of it, so every time I tried flossing I gave up after a week or two of pushing myself...until now, but I'll get to that later) and didn't watch what I should and should not eat. Plus I was always the member of the household who would finish a carton of chocolate milk or a box of oreo cookies a week after it was purchased from the grocery store, and I even barely tried leaving some for other people in my family to enjoy (which I didn't feel bad about until now! :( ).

So after my mom and I got back home from the dentist, with all the pain going on in my teeth and in the left side of my head, and with half of my face (the same half) numb, I decided to get down to business and write out a detailed oath about how I was going to actually try and commit to living a much healthier, guilt-free lifestyle. I took out my favorite notepad, a pen, and my outside/nonrelevant thoughts, and started writing. As I wrote my list, some bullets appeared such as "Drink 5 cups of water/tea every day," "No poison, aka NO SWEETS!," and most importantly, "Make sure I respect myself in every single situation that I am in...because I deserve it." And as this list continued, broader yet equally important points piled on, like "call my friends/close acquaintances once/week" and "Don't follow every single fashion advice I read in GLAMOUR." When I was done writing, I knew that this time I wouldn't let myself or the people I love down, because I had become more determined than ever to change myself for the better in every way possible.

Now it's been 5 full days that I haven't eaten sweets (except a few nights ago I impulsively grabbed a pack of sandwich cookies while I was out, and when I got home I literally threw the pack at my sister begging her to eat them all before I wanted them again...Then two minutes later I took a cookie from her and ate half of it, then threw the other half away), as it's been a full week that I've done aerobics, and I'm already feeling like I accomplished so much! :)

So to people who have also suffered from an addiction to sweets like me, and to people who want to improve themselves, determination is the real drive to getting where you want to be.

Bean out.