"Breathe" by Michelle Branch
I've been driving for an hour
Just talking to the rain
You say I've been driving you crazy, and its keeping you away
So just give me one good reason
Tell me why I should stay
'Cause I dont wanna waste another moment in saying things we never meant to say
And I, take it just a little bit
I, hold my breath and count to ten
I, I've been waiting for a chance to let you in
If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe
Every little piece of me
You'll seeEverything is alright
If I just breathe
Well it's all so overrated
In not saying how you feel
So you end up watching chances fade
And wondering what's real
And I, give you just a little time
I, wonder if you realize
I've been waiting till I see it in your eyes
If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe,
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe
Breathe
So I whisper in the dark,
Hoping you hear me
Do you hear me?
If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe,
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
Everything is alright if i just breathe...breathe
I've been driving for an hour
Just talking to the rain
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Jobs and Mr. Darcys
I always wonder what's going to happen to me for the rest of my life. People are always talking about college/classes/jobs/relationships and many other things that I don't have right now but will experience in the future. I'm always eager for time to fast forward until I'm in college, or until I meet "the one," or until I land myself in my dream career...So there are times when I get so frustrated as I sit in one of my classes at school just waiting to graduate from high school (but it's not that I hate school...I actually love it :) ).
I also feel this way when I'm watching movies. Almost every movie coats a realistic story with something everyone wants to see, or with what everyone wishes would happen in their lives. In one of the last scenes of Pride and Prejudice (my favorite movie of all time! hehe), we watch Mr. Darcy make his way to Elizabeth and confess that he still passionately loves her, despite all the accusations and arguments they had made in all the time since they met. Everyone wants this and many other love stories to happen to them, and we always want the assurance that someone will love us no matter what we do; people need to know that there's at least one person in the world who will always care for them and never turn back on them...But sometimes this dream seems out of reach and feels like just a plain fantasy, because it may become apparent that whatever happens in the movies is only make-believe.
Is there really such thing as "the one"? Is there only one person you should be with in your life? I always have conflicting answers to these questions...I think that a person may find love and happiness in more than just one person in his/her life, but then I believe there is only one type of person they belong to. That probably sounds pretty obvious though, but I think that's a realistic way to think of it. I admit I'm one of those sappy people who want romance in their lives, but I'm afraid I'll be disappointed later on if I think there is only one person for me, so I'd rather not think of it in the imaginative (I hope that's a real word..) sense.
When it comes to work/jobs, I get so excited that I almost completely ignore someone when they tell me I should enjoy being in high school while I'm in it. I know I'm probably going to miss high school once I've graduated and have entered college, but at the same time I can't wait to get into the lifestyle where I can wake up every morning and be happy to go wherever I'll be working (unless I choose a job I don't really enjoy or something, but I'm going to try and not let that happen).
I really hope that I won't be fooled into thinking whatever love story or any story I see in the movies will actually happen; if I found out that those things were actually almost impossible in reality, I don't know if I would have any ounce of hope left for that kind of fantasy (or maybe it's not a fantasy, one may never know) life I (and probably many other people) have always wanted.
I also feel this way when I'm watching movies. Almost every movie coats a realistic story with something everyone wants to see, or with what everyone wishes would happen in their lives. In one of the last scenes of Pride and Prejudice (my favorite movie of all time! hehe), we watch Mr. Darcy make his way to Elizabeth and confess that he still passionately loves her, despite all the accusations and arguments they had made in all the time since they met. Everyone wants this and many other love stories to happen to them, and we always want the assurance that someone will love us no matter what we do; people need to know that there's at least one person in the world who will always care for them and never turn back on them...But sometimes this dream seems out of reach and feels like just a plain fantasy, because it may become apparent that whatever happens in the movies is only make-believe.
Is there really such thing as "the one"? Is there only one person you should be with in your life? I always have conflicting answers to these questions...I think that a person may find love and happiness in more than just one person in his/her life, but then I believe there is only one type of person they belong to. That probably sounds pretty obvious though, but I think that's a realistic way to think of it. I admit I'm one of those sappy people who want romance in their lives, but I'm afraid I'll be disappointed later on if I think there is only one person for me, so I'd rather not think of it in the imaginative (I hope that's a real word..) sense.
When it comes to work/jobs, I get so excited that I almost completely ignore someone when they tell me I should enjoy being in high school while I'm in it. I know I'm probably going to miss high school once I've graduated and have entered college, but at the same time I can't wait to get into the lifestyle where I can wake up every morning and be happy to go wherever I'll be working (unless I choose a job I don't really enjoy or something, but I'm going to try and not let that happen).
I really hope that I won't be fooled into thinking whatever love story or any story I see in the movies will actually happen; if I found out that those things were actually almost impossible in reality, I don't know if I would have any ounce of hope left for that kind of fantasy (or maybe it's not a fantasy, one may never know) life I (and probably many other people) have always wanted.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Business trip
A week has passed since he left for his business trip, but it feels like many months that seem to slowly stretch into years.
Every time I hear the closing of the door and the sound of footsteps coming from downstairs, I'm always fooled the first second thinking it's him, when it really isn't.
I didn't think I'd miss my dad this much. It's probably because of the last conversation we had before he left.
It was the closest the two of us had ever gotten to completely understanding each other. And what we talked about was something that we always mentioned indirectly every now and then, but always avoided because one of us feared hurting the other person too much. But we actually talked about it and I think after that it made us both feel like a huge burden was lifted from our shoulders (at least that's what it felt like for me).
This is the first time (from what I can remember) that I miss my dad while he's been away.
Every time I hear the closing of the door and the sound of footsteps coming from downstairs, I'm always fooled the first second thinking it's him, when it really isn't.
I didn't think I'd miss my dad this much. It's probably because of the last conversation we had before he left.
It was the closest the two of us had ever gotten to completely understanding each other. And what we talked about was something that we always mentioned indirectly every now and then, but always avoided because one of us feared hurting the other person too much. But we actually talked about it and I think after that it made us both feel like a huge burden was lifted from our shoulders (at least that's what it felt like for me).
This is the first time (from what I can remember) that I miss my dad while he's been away.
Friday, October 3, 2008
"Dream On"
Right now I'm listening to "Fly Me to the Moon" by the amazing (yes, amazing...actually now that I think about it, "amazing" would be an understatement of what I think of this person) Frank Sinatra :D ...who I think exhibits the most amazing singing voice known to Man. Supposedly I'm listening to this song not only for my simple enjoyment, but also as a way to hopefully calm me down enough for the SAT which I'm taking (or should I say re-taking) tomorrow morning...
People say you're not supposed to spend the night before the test studying or preparing at all, but instead to relax and enjoy yourself--which is hard for me to do because I usually spend late nights getting ready for almost all tests at school! But after spending almost three hours watching episodes of Privileged (which I'm liking more and more after every minute of watching it hehe) in front of my computer instead of reviewing the reading section of the SAT prep book, I decided to relax and close the book. :)
So now I'm following orders--I'm relaxing and doing something of my enjoyment, which is listening to music and writing, hence this blog ;) ...Except now I realize that the type of music I listen to depends, because right now my playlist is playing "Dream On" by Aerosmith and now I'm not as relaxed as I should be...Not that I think it's a bad song, it's just it makes me think too much at a time that I shouldn't be thinking at all.
Anyways, I didn't think I'd be so happy for the weekend to come once again, but it turns out that I am. And I hadn't realized it, partially because I spent pretty much all of today enjoying myself and being distracted from the time running by. Today I ate a delicious chocolate cake that ressembled a giant oreo (minus the second chocolate cookie-half...) with a friend at school; it was part of our "social experiment" (which is what we named it as our excuse to eat most of the cake without sharing it too much haha), which was a worthwhile experiment indeed because not only was the cake delicious (okay I will try to not get too much into food because I already did that for you in my first blog ;) ) but it made my school day 10 times more fun and enjoyable as my friend and I roamed the nearly-empty school hallway and shared our moments with random teachers and with other people we enjoy being around. I enjoy being around many people, but I think the cake (despite its ginormous size) might have been too small for us to give slices too all those people!
What if I bomb the SAT? Even if I spent most of my summer days making at least 100 vocab flashcards and sitting on the balcony reading every word of the SAT prep book, what if my second time taking the test gives me the same score as before--or even worse, a lower score?? I did take two practice tests recently, and I scored lower than I did on the actual SAT (the first time I took it) both of those times.
But that's not what I should be thinking about; I should think about how hard I'm going to try tomorrow morning and how determined I will be to get a good score. Usually I ignore the common phrase "I think, therefore I am," but now, just because I'm in a state of desperation, I'm going to repeat that phrase over and over in my head as my sleep, and perhaps even as I get dropped of at the test taking center...
Well, Here It Goes, wish me luck!
Bean out.
People say you're not supposed to spend the night before the test studying or preparing at all, but instead to relax and enjoy yourself--which is hard for me to do because I usually spend late nights getting ready for almost all tests at school! But after spending almost three hours watching episodes of Privileged (which I'm liking more and more after every minute of watching it hehe) in front of my computer instead of reviewing the reading section of the SAT prep book, I decided to relax and close the book. :)
So now I'm following orders--I'm relaxing and doing something of my enjoyment, which is listening to music and writing, hence this blog ;) ...Except now I realize that the type of music I listen to depends, because right now my playlist is playing "Dream On" by Aerosmith and now I'm not as relaxed as I should be...Not that I think it's a bad song, it's just it makes me think too much at a time that I shouldn't be thinking at all.
Anyways, I didn't think I'd be so happy for the weekend to come once again, but it turns out that I am. And I hadn't realized it, partially because I spent pretty much all of today enjoying myself and being distracted from the time running by. Today I ate a delicious chocolate cake that ressembled a giant oreo (minus the second chocolate cookie-half...) with a friend at school; it was part of our "social experiment" (which is what we named it as our excuse to eat most of the cake without sharing it too much haha), which was a worthwhile experiment indeed because not only was the cake delicious (okay I will try to not get too much into food because I already did that for you in my first blog ;) ) but it made my school day 10 times more fun and enjoyable as my friend and I roamed the nearly-empty school hallway and shared our moments with random teachers and with other people we enjoy being around. I enjoy being around many people, but I think the cake (despite its ginormous size) might have been too small for us to give slices too all those people!
What if I bomb the SAT? Even if I spent most of my summer days making at least 100 vocab flashcards and sitting on the balcony reading every word of the SAT prep book, what if my second time taking the test gives me the same score as before--or even worse, a lower score?? I did take two practice tests recently, and I scored lower than I did on the actual SAT (the first time I took it) both of those times.
But that's not what I should be thinking about; I should think about how hard I'm going to try tomorrow morning and how determined I will be to get a good score. Usually I ignore the common phrase "I think, therefore I am," but now, just because I'm in a state of desperation, I'm going to repeat that phrase over and over in my head as my sleep, and perhaps even as I get dropped of at the test taking center...
Well, Here It Goes, wish me luck!
Bean out.
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