Wednesday, November 26, 2008

In the middle of my busy days

So it's the night before Thanksgiving day (that sounds strange...Oh well), and I've decided to make a brief (hopefully it'll be brief) list of the things I am thankful for. I always tell myself I should do this every year, but then I forget and later decide it doesn't matter.
But I came to realize that it in fact does matter, and that I shouldn't undermine how important it is to stop in the middle of my busy days and think about the things I may have ignored for awhile, the things that I should have been embracing.
The list has really random things, but I guess they're all the little things I appreciate...So here it goes, the list of things I am (and have been) thankful for:

1) My family
2) My friends-my school friends, especially those who I became friends with in middle school..And my outside-of-school (aka Iranian) friends who I've known pretty much forever
3) My house
4) My clothes
5) The many CDs and music I have
6) the Internet
7) the library
8) Starbucks
9) Chocolate
10) The fact that my sister is one of the few people in the world who can make me laugh and make me 10 times happier (sorry for being so gushy Mrs Madison :) )
11) GLAMOUR's like my Bible :)
12) The fact that my aunt and uncle are so much fun to be around and they make me feel like life isn't all about working, it's more about having a good time and being around people you love.
13)Being at a school where everyone knows you and vise versa, and where the teachers actually care about you and where you're going in life.
14) Movies...the ultimate form of art
15) Art, and the fact that I can express myself through it
16) My grandpa, who I believe inspired me to be thankful for #15
17) My mom's incredible strength and persistence to give the best of everything, I can never understand how she does it.
18) My dad's love and sympathy.
19) My earrings
20) The opportunity to take French at school; without that I wouldn't have discovered my undying love for the french language hehe
21) Forever 21 store
22) Anthropologie store
23) Ben & Jerry's Oatmeal Cookie Chunk ice cream
24) living in the pacific northwest..I love the unpredictable (usually rainy) weather and everything else about it!
25) The people who've brought even more love and humor to the family, "Sheri" and "Shawn" (I'm afraid to use their actual names for security reasons haha)
26) The fact that we have a Christmas tree, ornaments, candy canes, Christmas movies, hot chocolate with marshmellos, and many of those small things every person dreams of having during Christmas season.
27) My new Converse shoes
28) Tea, the best kind of drink known to Man
29)Thermoses, because they make you feel cozy when you walk outside in the cold weather
30) The memories of my childhood
31) Books
32) Peppermint bark (I guess this one fits more into number 26)
33) Photos, because they ease the anxiety I have sometimes that I may forget the memories I cherish the most
34) The opportunity I had to stay with my aunt for two weeks by myself two summers ago :)
35) My senior class sweatpants and sweater
36) My school nickname "Bean"...and my Iranian nicknames
37) Scarves
38) The fact that our family cars can heat up when we're driving home late at night from a party and we feel like we're going to die from the freezing cold~!

And there' s my far :)

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!


Thursday, November 13, 2008

Move back

So I'm sitting at my desk with miles of thoughts running and cramming in my head; I keep trying to relax by playing music I like or having chai (not chai tea, but actual Iranian chai ;) )...But I still find myself feeling tense in the shoulders and neck...And I have a terrible headache. :(

I think it's because a lot of abnormal things have happened to me this week and I've found them overwhelming, just because of how foreign they are. My dad came back from his business trip after a month, and he has a beard--which he NEVER had (from what I can remember); I started listening to Christmas music; conversations I've had with certain people have come up in my mind because of how worried I am about them or because just in general how I feel about them; And many other things, but those are the big ones that have happened this week.

I just want everything to go back to normal. I want my sister to come back from college and never leave home. I want to have spent more time with my Iranian friends (or the "Persian gang," as Mrs. Madison referred one time hehe) like we used to during those "mehmoonees" we don't have as often anymore. I even sometimes want to go back to being the extremely shy person I was, because that part of my life feels like my comfort zone, something familiar that I could hold on to. I want my dad to stop going on those business trips that make me worry sick about the family and myself (and my dad, of course). I want my parents to look at each other the way they used to when I was younger, when we lived at our Kent house. I sometimes want to move back to that house and see my old friends again. I want to delete all the college applications and ask myself why I was doing them, it's way too soon. I want my brother to be the adorable, innocent child he was at one time in his life (but then again he's in that "phase," except that "phase" has lasted for at least a few years..).

I want many things, and most of them probably won't happen because they're just part of change, and change can't be prevented.

I thought writing a blog would help me relieve the stress I've been having today/this week, but I think it's actually made it worse.

P.S. I'm sorry this is such a depressing blog :(
I hope it didn't totally ruin your mood/day or anything

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The theme

This has pretty much been the theme of this week for me :) :

Don't Stop Believin' by Journey

Just a small town girl, livin in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin anywhere
Just a city boy, born and raised in south detroit
He took the midnight train goin anywhere

A singer in a smokey room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night

Working hard to get my fill,
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin anything to roll the dice,
Just one more timeSome will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

Dont stop believin
Hold on to the feelin
Streetlight people

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Problem--no, ADDICTION

I have many additions.
The list starts with chocolate, candy and other sweets; television; checking my e-mail (which I do literally five times per day...I know, it's that bad); Christmas; watching the same movies over and over again; and the list stretches on for miles. These don't seem so bad, because they're just things that people can normally get hung up on. They're completely innocent, as long as they don't "out-balance" the other parts of your life.
But the worst addiction I have is...well, I guess I shouldn't call it an addition, it's more of a serious problem..My biggest problem is that I get so distracted from doing homework when I'm at my desk (or anywhere for that matter), that sometimes I end up not doing homework at all- even after spending three hours in my room with textbooks open and papers lying all over the place.
I should/want to blame it all on my computer, since it always sits at my desk with it's very easy to get off track of my homework as I randomly decide to check my e-mail and Facebook accounts. Every time I surf the web, I tell myself that I'll get back to work in five minutes...But I always end up looking at the clock with having had half an hour or even two hours pass by!
This serious problem can probably be considered as an addiction, now that I think about it, because for months I've kept promising myself that I wouldn't touch the mouse or keyboard anymore when I sit at my desk, or telling myself that I won't do anything on the computer until I've finished my homework...But these have never been able to conquer the temptation that lets me drop everything and jump to the easy route of avoiding the work.

I don't know what to do besides to just keep on trying to resist the problem-no, addition...?